How Jesus Overcomes Peter’s Shame: Beyond "Trapped in the Past" Or "Ignoring the Past"
Subtitle: The Emotions of Peter and the Passion of Christ, part 3 of 4
[I was hoping to finish off this series last week. But Cyd and I have been teaching and prepping for the new learning cohort and two workshops. See below for all posts.]
Where do you feel shame in your body?
I feel shame as a burning sensation throughout my body.
A little bit of shame will center in my chest.
A lot of shame will shoot all the way to my fingertips.
Shame makes me irritable and defensive.
Shame makes me feel like everything is a criticism.
Eventually, shame just makes me want to stop, and give up.
Two Typical Ways of Dealing With Shameful Failure?
When we blow it, when we fail, when we let others down, there are two general strategies for dealing with it.
Option #1: Get Trapped in the Past
This is when you are condemned by your past actions and old identity.
You cannot overcome what you did.
Or what was done to you.
You are always and forever who you are.
You are always the stupid little brother.
You will always be the hysterical sister.
You will always be the irresponsible one.
You are trapped in the past.
Condemned to repeat it.
Others: This message of condemnation can come from others.
They won’t let you grow, and learn, and change. They won’t let the past go. Cancel culture (especially against things that happened in our teens) functions this way. The internet never forgets and you always need to be punished. A fight with a friend at school means you lose entire friend groups, or the teachers label you as the bad kid for one little mistake.
Yourself: This message of condemnation might come from you.f
You can’t stop beating yourself up. You can’t stop punishing yourself. You feel unworthy of moving forward. You just know you’re going to mess up your marriage again, lose your temper again, give in to your additions again.
This is the first option for dealing with shameful failure.
Option #2: Ignore the Past
The second option is to ignore the past and forget the failure.
For yourself: You make a virtue of living in the present, in the future.
You are totally free from your old identity. The past doesn’t matter. You can recreate yourself each and every day.
Don’t let others hold you back or hold you down!
Name your dream.
Claim your life.
Keep moving forward.
We can attempt to make a virtue of living in the present while we totally ignore the past, sweeping it under a rug, and then we furiously blame others who bringing up.
While pretending to be free to live, we are constantly on guard against those who know us in a different light, we are constantly defending the “true self” that we are creating from “those people” who really know us.
For others: We ignore the past as a way to “protect” others.
You sweep things under the rug for other people, telling yourself that you are helping them out, that they didn’t really mean it, and that they will do better next time.
But maybe, it’s because confronting the truth is hard, and we are tired, or beat down. It is just easier to forget the past than really look at it—to hold people accountable.
It is easier to enable bad behavior than it is to stand up and do something. It might even be safer to do that.
But Jesus gives us another option that doesn’t condemn us to the past and doesn’t ignore the past either.
Peter: Filled with Shame
Peter’s emotions had been on a roller coaster ever since the Last Supper when Jesus said that Peter was going to betray him.
Peter was overwhelmed with grief in the garden (hypo-activated). He was overwhelmed by anger and fear in the garden and the courtyard—fighting for and then against Jesus (hyper-activated).
And he wept bitterly when he did finally betray Jesus.
Peter was overcome with shameful failure.
And this shame was not relieved the resurrection of Jesus.
How Does Jesus Overcome Peter’s Shameful Failure?
Jesus acknowledges Peter’s past, and then offers a way forward.
1) Acknowledging the Past: The Old Self
Peter, feeling trapped by his shame, reverts back to his old mentality, his identity, his old habits and ways of living.
Peter returns to fishing (See John 21:1-14).
He is reverting back to his “old self.”
When we encounter Jesus, our lives are split in two: the old and the new self, the old and new humanity, the old and new identity.
When we encounter Jesus, our lives are split in two: the old and the new self, the old and new humanity, the old and new identity.
As Paul says, in Ephesians 4:22-24,
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self [old identity, old humanity], which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23 to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24 and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
In line with this, Jesus doesn’t ignore Peter’s past, his old self.
Jesus asks Peter if he loves these fish more than Jesus. Jesus is acknowledging Peter’s past life as a fisherman, which Peter is now reverting back to.
And Jesus asks Peter 3 times if Peter love him. Jesus is acknowledging the 3 times Peter betrayed him.
Jesus isn’t ignoring the past as if it never happened.
But Jesus isn’t trapping Peter in the condemnation of the past. Jesus is trying to free him from it.
2) Offering a Way Forward: The New Self
Jesus offers Peter a way forward by giving him a new identity and a new purpose (which always go together).
New Identity
While Jesus initially shifted Peter’s identity from being a “fisher of fish” to being a “fisher of people” (Mark 1:16-17), now Jesus gives Peter a new identity as a shepherd (“feed my sheep” John 20:15-19).
And love is the basis of this new identity: loving Jesus more than “these fish”.
Who we love—or our primary attachments—are always the basis of our identity.
The “we” of our loving attachments always shapes the “me” of identity.
New Purpose
And a new identity requires a new purpose.
They go together: who we are and what we do.
And a new identity requires a new purpose. They go together: who we are and what we do.
The new identity as a shepherd means Peter has a new purpose to feed the sheep.
For all of us, we are all called into a new kingdom purpose like Peter.
Overcoming Shame with a New Identity and a New Purpose
Each and every day, Jesus is offering to overcome our shame by acknowledging the past and offering a new future.
There is no room for shame for those who stand in Christ, for “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1).
Indeed, “in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us” (Rom. 8:37).
Jesus loved Peter and restored him after his shameful denial.
And Jesus loves us in the same way.
And that is GOOD NEWS in the midst of our shameful failures.