A Motorcycle Accident and Internal Working Models (What We Call "Designed Defaults")
Writing Retreat: Day #4 (join us for feedback and clarification)
Sorry this is so late. It’s Saturday and I (Geoff) just finished these parts. And sorry for the typos. And these two parts are quite stitched together…if you notice the abrupt shift.
Below is part of an insta-draft of Lacking Nothing: Quieting an Anxious and Avoidant Faith. I’m posting from our writing retreat to get feedback & clarity. Please support the writing of this book by becoming a paid subscriber.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fce33d710-7753-49cf-857a-7d2c39df32ab_4841x3025.jpeg)
On Motorcycles and Mental Models
I hit my head hard. Rolled. And landed on my back. I (Geoff) now had a broken collar bone and a wounded pride. And I was thankful I was wearing a helmet.
What happened?
Bottomline on top: What worked to keep me safe is what caused my accident.
I was on a dirt bike going downhill on a gravel road. This means you want to keep your weight toward the back and you don’t want to touch the front-wheel brake otherwise you will lose control and crash.
But I needed to slow down. A lot.
On a motorcycle, the back-wheel brake is a right-foot pedal. And I was already mashing it down hard. But I needed more braking.
At this point my brain is moving fast, very fast. My internal level had shifted from mild concern to near panic. Connection was out the window. It was all protection (And truthfully, my inexperience on a dirt bike probably caused me to misread and overshot the needed level of concern given my relative lack of speed in that situation—but I can only say that after the fact).
Now, before becoming an inexperienced motorcycle driver I was a fairly experienced bicycle rider. On a mountain bike, the back-wheel brake is operated by the right hand on the handlebar. And I had done this countless times as a kid and as an adult. I could be flying down a mountain and perfectly control my speed by opening and closing the brake with my right hand. I would do that without even thinking because riding a bike was part of my implicit-procedural memory (for many of you, this is how driving a car without thinking about it).
So, back to the story of breaking my collar bone…
I flew off the dirt bike because my conscious “how to drive a motorcycle” mind had shifted back to my implicit “how to ride a mountain bike” memory.
I told you that the back-wheel brake is operated by the right foot. And I was slamming on this already. But I needed more braking.
In an instant, when my mind shifted to protection over connection, I reverted back to my best-known operating system, I began acting from my most practiced “working model” of the world. I instantly switched back to my how-to-ride-a-mountain-bike model of the world.
And in that model of the world if you need more back braking you squeeze the lever on the handlebar with your right hand.
And that’s what I did.
You know what the right-hand lever on the handlebar does on a motorcycle? It is different from a mountain bike.
On a motorcycle, the right-hand lever controls the front-wheel brake.
Yes. That’s right.
The one brake, under all conditions, whether on a mountain bike or a motorcycle, that you do not want to use while going downhill on gravel—that is the one I squeezed!!!
I crashed because my old “mental modal” of mountain biking spontaneously activated an behavior that was useful in the past, but was catastrophic in the present. My old “mental model” protected me in the past. But it was outdated and caused me harm in the present.
I reacted using my most basic “mental model” of the world, the one I had used hundreds of times as a kid and as an adult. But now it caused me to crash.
The Three Attachment Defaults
Attachment research found we have three defaults. In the technical writing, they are called “internal working models”, but we are going to call them our attachment defaults. (Note IWM article)
These attachment defaults are flexible and adaptive templates (i.e. working models) that are built up from early relationship experiences and applied to present relationship situations. As John Bowlby says, during the first years of life “a child is busy constructing working models of how the physical world may be expected to behave, how his mother and other significant persons may be expected to behave, how he himself may be expected to behave, and how each interacts with all the others. Within the framework of these working models he evaluates his situation and makes his plans.” These attachment defaults filter (they take out, leave in, or color) what we perceive, experience, feeling, think, and remember about our relationships with others, the world, and ourselves.
Attachment research has identified three core attachment defaults (Note Waters article). And we can state them in the form of three questions.
Are other available when I’m in distress?
Will this distress be alleviate?
Do I have agency to effect change in the world?
Are others available?
Our first attachment default is focused on other people. And it is answered through our early attachment relationship. When we have attuned and attentive caregivers, we develop a deep-seated sense that others will be available to us when we are in distress.
If you aren’t already, please join us for the journey and help support the writing of this book by becoming a paid subscriber.
Keep reading with a 7-day free trial
Subscribe to Embodied Faith to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.